Ok, so I don't like veils. I never have, and I doubt I ever will. They might work for someone else, but not for this bride. Sorry, all you traditionalists out there....but I really really hate veils. My feelings are quite opposite of my mom's, but dad assured me that there is no official church rule/regulation that says I'm required to wear one. So with the house divided, I'm sure you can imagine the frustration on all sides. And thus began Battle Veil.
Fight 1: Choosing my dress. Once I found "the" dress, the sales lady brought some silly fishnet with a comb on it (aka veil) and stuck it in my hair, which in my opinion ruined the whole look of the dress. Mom was tickled pink, and started looking through all the $150 fishnet-comb thingies trying to get ideas. I told her then that I don't like veils. She must have thought I was talking about just THOSE veils. Mom:1, Drea:0
Fight 2: Picking up my dress. When my dress finally arrived, I went to the salon to try it on, and I was thrilled that it fit perfectly with no alterations needed. I truly felt like a rock star princess in my gown......until that darn sales lady showed up again with that stupid veil. I politely asked her to take it back from wherever she got it, because I wouldn't be wearing one. Mom tried and tried, but couldn't convince me that wearing a fishnet on my head would be elegant. Mom:1, Drea:1
Fight 3: Bringing my dress home. When I came home from the salon with my gown in the garment bag, I was greeted with smiles and hugs from my dad and grandma. Since mom beat me home, she had time to brainwash dad and grandma into agreeing with her about the veil. So then I had all three of them telling me how it's tradition, and how a veil distinguishes a bridal gown from a prom dress, etc. I was cornered. Mom:2, Drea:1
Fight 4: The final showdown on the way to the caterer. Mom and I went to the caterer's office to finalize our details for the reception. On the car ride there, mom said she called her coworker's mom (who happens to be a seamstress) and arranged for her to make a custom veil for me. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I told her that I hate veils, and if this lady was going to make one for me, she might as well embroider "Mom, this one's for you!" on the back so everyone knows that I was forced to wear a fishnet on my head against my will. (In retrospect, that was kinda mean...and I apologized later.) Mom was thoroughly offended, and tried to guilt trip me by saying she only wanted me to be happy and didn't know the veil repulsed me so.
After the big blow up, we discussed the root of the veil drama. I explained that the veil would ruin my hairstyle, and it isn't the look I want for my wedding. Mom explained that it was disrespectful to have my shoulders out in church, and the veil was supposed to give some modesty to my strapless dress. So I suggested that if we could find some sort of shawl/shrug/jacket to cover my shoulders, it would be the perfect compromise. Final score....Mom:2, Drea:2. It's a tie! Finding some middle ground made us both feel like winners, and we're both glad the other is happy. :) Andrea