Ok, so I don't like veils. I never have, and I doubt I ever will. They might work for someone else, but not for this bride. Sorry, all you traditionalists out there....but I really really hate veils. My feelings are quite opposite of my mom's, but dad assured me that there is no official church rule/regulation that says I'm required to wear one. So with the house divided, I'm sure you can imagine the frustration on all sides. And thus began Battle Veil.
Fight 1: Choosing my dress. Once I found "the" dress, the sales lady brought some silly fishnet with a comb on it (aka veil) and stuck it in my hair, which in my opinion ruined the whole look of the dress. Mom was tickled pink, and started looking through all the $150 fishnet-comb thingies trying to get ideas. I told her then that I don't like veils. She must have thought I was talking about just THOSE veils. Mom:1, Drea:0
Fight 2: Picking up my dress. When my dress finally arrived, I went to the salon to try it on, and I was thrilled that it fit perfectly with no alterations needed. I truly felt like a rock star princess in my gown......until that darn sales lady showed up again with that stupid veil. I politely asked her to take it back from wherever she got it, because I wouldn't be wearing one. Mom tried and tried, but couldn't convince me that wearing a fishnet on my head would be elegant. Mom:1, Drea:1
Fight 3: Bringing my dress home. When I came home from the salon with my gown in the garment bag, I was greeted with smiles and hugs from my dad and grandma. Since mom beat me home, she had time to brainwash dad and grandma into agreeing with her about the veil. So then I had all three of them telling me how it's tradition, and how a veil distinguishes a bridal gown from a prom dress, etc. I was cornered. Mom:2, Drea:1
Fight 4: The final showdown on the way to the caterer. Mom and I went to the caterer's office to finalize our details for the reception. On the car ride there, mom said she called her coworker's mom (who happens to be a seamstress) and arranged for her to make a custom veil for me. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I told her that I hate veils, and if this lady was going to make one for me, she might as well embroider "Mom, this one's for you!" on the back so everyone knows that I was forced to wear a fishnet on my head against my will. (In retrospect, that was kinda mean...and I apologized later.) Mom was thoroughly offended, and tried to guilt trip me by saying she only wanted me to be happy and didn't know the veil repulsed me so.
After the big blow up, we discussed the root of the veil drama. I explained that the veil would ruin my hairstyle, and it isn't the look I want for my wedding. Mom explained that it was disrespectful to have my shoulders out in church, and the veil was supposed to give some modesty to my strapless dress. So I suggested that if we could find some sort of shawl/shrug/jacket to cover my shoulders, it would be the perfect compromise. Final score....Mom:2, Drea:2. It's a tie! Finding some middle ground made us both feel like winners, and we're both glad the other is happy. :) Andrea
12 comments:
The best thing that happened in this battle is that you both were able to express your feelings and come to common ground. I am however a believer that the bride should have what she wants.
a shawl/scarf is a great idea!
Drea you really had me laughin out loud...which isn't the coolest thing when you're @ work on facebook, especially when everyone else is complaining wbout how much work they haven't been able to catch up on....anyway glad you guys came to an agreement, but I definitely think your opinion matters more in this case (shhh don't tell your mom)
uhm you talking slick to your mother, how rude lol..please don't wear a shawl. I just saw some wedding pics where the bride wore a shawl and it looked horrible in my opinion. whatever you decide I'm sure you'll be the most beautiful bride of 09
I wouldnt wear a veil either i dont like the old fasioned look that they give. I would rather everyone see the hair that i would spend hours getting done =)
OMG I am afraid to say I like a veil too but I am a mom! Since you feel so strongly about this it's nice that you could come to a compromise. If you change your mind we have three veils (all different lengths just laying around the house....:)
One of my friends did not wear a veil on her wedding day, and it did not look like a prom dress. :-P Did you do the veil thing anyway for First Holy Communion? And I thought you were trying NOT to be 100% traditional?...
I'm wearing a veil whenever I get married cause I want to have the effect ole girl had on eddie murphy at the end of Coming to America lmao..to see his eyes light up when he flipped that veil. I long for that moment..:)
Hmm...I don't think a veil was going to cover your shoulders up anyhow...unless you really went all out on it. So that's a lame excuse..I didn't know a shawl was the compromise you came up with. I'm going to have to request a viewing.
I agree Drea...I tried on a couple of dresses that I liked (still undecided though) and each time I did the sales lady came and put one of those ugly things on my head! Those combs hurt! And I hate to sound like a nerd but I felt kinda clostrophobic (spelling) with that thing over my face. :( And those prices! since when does tulle from underneath a dress cost soo much?? Depending on my dress I think I may get something very simple and elegant just to hang off the back. But whatever you decide I'm sure it will be gorgeous!
Oh weird, anonymous said they have three veils laying around. that's so weird because I also have 3 veils laying around my house that my mom made for me. i wonder who could have possibly left that comment.
Hi.
that is funny. I also am not a veil girl. It was also strange guilt thing with my mom. But i am wearing my hear in a low updo with a flower, and i bought a super simple ONE tier, veil NO frills. not to long, that looks kind of like a pony tail. its thin, and i am just wearing it for the ceremony, because in some ways i do like the look from the back and have seen some amazing photographs with it just really low like a ponytail, not crazy. Anyway, I am glad you reached a compromise. There have been many strange "hmm. are you sure about that?" or "thats what you are going to wear/use" moments, and they are all between mom and me. hmmm. strange.
ha ha. but for some reason i really need her approval still after all these years, and said to her " i need you to tell me you LOVE it, so i can move on to the next thing and be sure of this". and then she always does. :)
GOOD LUCK! the veil thing was one of my issues too! ha ha
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