With the divorce rate being at 50% in the US, it's a bit discouraging for young couples starting their new lives together with all the hope in the world that it will last forever. Even with the great examples I have in my family of successful lifelong marriages, I had some eye-opening conversations with 4 friends in the last couple months... 2 are getting divorced, and the other 2 called off their engagements.
Obviously I'm doing everything I can to be a good friend to everyone, and be there for them if they need support. But to be perfectly honest, it's a bit scary to have these conversations while I'm planning our wedding. Sometimes I think, if they couldn't make it, what makes me so special? So I guess this is where "the rubber meets the road" so to speak...when we say "I do" and promise to keep God in the center of our marriage, I'm praying that He will give us the strength to hold on during the tough times. And when even that doesn't seem to be enough, we've gotta trust that God will keep our support network close to us to push us forward when we've run out of energy. We can't do this alone. As my parents have always said about raising kids AND sustaining a healthy marriage, "It takes a village..." Andrea
4 comments:
Holy crap. That's really scary, but I'm a firm believer in the power of the right people coming together under the right circumstances. People love to tell you how difficult marriage is and I can't tell you how many people have told me that they think it's crazy for people to marry young or right after college (this is a statement that is typically... Read More made by people who don't realize how old I am or that I've been happily married for four years). But no one ever talks about how easy and beautiful it can be under the right circumstances. This may be my "newlywed" naivete talking, but I am 100% confident that you and Dre will be just fine. I know you as well as I know myself and I know how many frogs you had to kiss (usually against my advice) in order to get here. Life can be hard and cruel, but when God brings two people together with so many people who love them and are rooting for them, magical things can happen.
As sucky as not being engaged is, it has actually been a good thing for our relationship (one way or another) because we're still growing and talking to each other. As long as you keep talking and growing and not take anything for granted, you'll be on the right path. People are great ignorers of doubts, and that's what leads them to marrying the wrong person, not dealing with a small problem in time, etc. Having married sooooo young, my parents have had a lot of good times and bad together, but even in the worst they've never separated or allowed things to fester.
Can we clear something up? The divorce rate is NOT 50%.
From the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics: "If you looked at all the marriages and divorces within a single year, you'd find that there were twice as many marriages as divorces. In 1981, for example, there were 2.4 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces. At first glance, that would seem like a 50-percent divorce rate.
Virtually none of those divorces were among the people who had married during that year, however, and the statistic failed to take into account the 54 million marriages that already existed, the majority of which would not see divorce."
Let's please do our research before throwing this statistic around!
Annika, that 50% rate is found in several census reports...but honestly, the number isn't what's important, and it really wasn't the purpose of this blog. I hope you read past the generalized statistics and took to heart the rest of the message.
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