Saturday, August 29, 2009

Advice to couples married 50 years by Kelly

Tomorrow is the Golden Wedding celebration. It's for couples who have been married 50 years. I think that Jake and I will renew our vows. It has been over 4 months already. I am probably an expert in marriage. I bet all of the couples who have been married 50 years will ask me for advice on marriage.

My job is to make sure no families hang out in the church. Its for jubilarians only (someone fix the spelling on that). I get to kick people out. It's probably one of my favorite things to do.

Afterwards we will all go out to eat and I will have to break my diet and eat a ton of pasta. I also decided to break my diet today because I have to work 19 hours today. I will probably break it on Monday because it is Monday. I am so fat and lazy. I am in a wedding in February which is in Italy. I should maybe get skinny for that. Probably won't. Oh well. Kelly

Monday, August 24, 2009

Reunion by Kelly


Tomorrow we are having my grade school reunion. Normal schools would have this every 10 years. Well, we forgot so we are having a 13 year reunion. I am really excited. I had hoped to lose 10 lbs but since I put no effort whatsoever into that, it didn't happen. I still think I see quite a few people I went to grade school with but it will still be fun.

I just want to show off Jake. I probably wouldn't even go if he wasn't going to go with. He is hot and everyone always loves him. I am usually lacking a personality so that is his job.

He will probably get real jealous since me and my friend Mike never technically broke up after we dated for a week my freshman year of high school. Ok, I guess we didn't date for a week, I guess we have been dating for almost 9 years.

Note: Text from Kelly on her way to the reunion to her mother: Are you still up and how do you feel about giving us a ride ? No bus..no cab. Next text a few minutes later: Phew. Found a cab, Mom doesn't have to drive us to a reunion. Kelly

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Battle of the Veil by Andrea

Ok, so I don't like veils. I never have, and I doubt I ever will. They might work for someone else, but not for this bride. Sorry, all you traditionalists out there....but I really really hate veils. My feelings are quite opposite of my mom's, but dad assured me that there is no official church rule/regulation that says I'm required to wear one. So with the house divided, I'm sure you can imagine the frustration on all sides. And thus began Battle Veil.

Fight 1: Choosing my dress. Once I found "the" dress, the sales lady brought some silly fishnet with a comb on it (aka veil) and stuck it in my hair, which in my opinion ruined the whole look of the dress. Mom was tickled pink, and started looking through all the $150 fishnet-comb thingies trying to get ideas. I told her then that I don't like veils. She must have thought I was talking about just THOSE veils. Mom:1, Drea:0

Fight 2: Picking up my dress. When my dress finally arrived, I went to the salon to try it on, and I was thrilled that it fit perfectly with no alterations needed. I truly felt like a rock star princess in my gown......until that darn sales lady showed up again with that stupid veil. I politely asked her to take it back from wherever she got it, because I wouldn't be wearing one. Mom tried and tried, but couldn't convince me that wearing a fishnet on my head would be elegant. Mom:1, Drea:1

Fight 3: Bringing my dress home. When I came home from the salon with my gown in the garment bag, I was greeted with smiles and hugs from my dad and grandma. Since mom beat me home, she had time to brainwash dad and grandma into agreeing with her about the veil. So then I had all three of them telling me how it's tradition, and how a veil distinguishes a bridal gown from a prom dress, etc. I was cornered. Mom:2, Drea:1

Fight 4: The final showdown on the way to the caterer. Mom and I went to the caterer's office to finalize our details for the reception. On the car ride there, mom said she called her coworker's mom (who happens to be a seamstress) and arranged for her to make a custom veil for me. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I told her that I hate veils, and if this lady was going to make one for me, she might as well embroider "Mom, this one's for you!" on the back so everyone knows that I was forced to wear a fishnet on my head against my will. (In retrospect, that was kinda mean...and I apologized later.) Mom was thoroughly offended, and tried to guilt trip me by saying she only wanted me to be happy and didn't know the veil repulsed me so.

After the big blow up, we discussed the root of the veil drama. I explained that the veil would ruin my hairstyle, and it isn't the look I want for my wedding. Mom explained that it was disrespectful to have my shoulders out in church, and the veil was supposed to give some modesty to my strapless dress. So I suggested that if we could find some sort of shawl/shrug/jacket to cover my shoulders, it would be the perfect compromise. Final score....Mom:2, Drea:2. It's a tie! Finding some middle ground made us both feel like winners, and we're both glad the other is happy. :) Andrea

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Getting Married Makes You Fat by Kelly

Getting married makes you fat! I came to this conclusion about 30 seconds ago and decided it must be blogged. I have gained 15 lbs. since Jake and I got engaged. So maybe being engaged makes you fat too. I lost most of the weight right before the wedding. But then gained 7 lbs. on our honeymoon. How is that even possible? We were only gone 7 nights. There is a slight chance it had something to do with the ridiculous amount of food and drinks we consumed. I am a fan of all-inclusive resorts.

We are home now though. There really is no other reason that I am so fat other than I am now very lazy. I work a million hours a week and eat like crap. I feel like I don't have something hanging over my head anymore to keep me skinny. Like, I don't have to fit into a certain dress, so why lose weight?

I don't like this way of thinking. Soon I will have to be fork lifted out of the house if I don't cut this crap out. Today is day #1 of the diet. Ok, diets don't work. A commercial told me that. So today is the start of crazily working out.

I need to stay super pretty if I want to keep a husband! Good thing I'm so conceited.

Oh no. Just remembered we are going out for sushi tonight. Maybe it will start tomorrow.............Kelly